I have come to the conclusion that the reason my plans for my life never work out is becaue they would work. Yes--you read correctly. And I believe that my plans would work--IF I was not required to be tested. It's like the proverbial algebra problem. You are going along everything is GREAT and then WAIT--what do I have to do with this negative again--Oh that's right--turn it into a positive.
It seems so tedious and exhausting at the same time. One negative after another and sometimes the same ratio is attached. Like when those kids you almost died to have--or at least you thought you were dying at the time--wil NOT go to bed with out threat (even though you know you would die to protect them if necessary). But its not just one night, it's night after night, after frustrating night.
You feel like you must have failed somewhere and continue to feel like you are continuously failing because you cannot for the life of yo (or them) figure the missing factor. It's tedious . . . it's frustrating . . . it's exhausting . . . it's --negative--oh, wait. I need to turn that into a positive. How? Two negatives make a positive: You haven't died yet and neither have they.